High Anxiety

Some time ago I was visiting my brother.  It was getting late and we were watching a movie on the television, me and him and his wife Linda.

Suddenly, Steven issues a loud roar and runs out to the backyard.

Feeling somewhat alarmed but sensing no danger whatsoever…

Me to Linda:  What’s he doing?

Linda to me:  [Calmly] There’s a cricket.

Me to Linda:  A cricket?

Linda to me:  He doesn’t like crickets.

So my brother is racing around with a flashlight in one hand and a can of Raid in the other.  We hear growling and spraying and finally Steven comes inside, winded but victorious.

Now, if a lone cricket can drive my brother to a midnight manhunt and summary execution, you can just imagine how an annoying person such as myself could make him completely crazy.  A whole weekend he yelled at me, it didn’t stop.

Soon I am speaking with my sister Stephanie, and I tell her about this episode…

Stephanie to me:  [Horrified] What?!  He killed a living thing?!  For no reason?!

Now, I am concerned about my brother.  He seems terribly anxious and awfully irritable.  Maybe he is at risk for a stroke, maybe he needs some kind of help.  But my sister is concerned about the cricket.  Maybe she is a Buddhist, maybe she wouldn’t hurt a fly.

This is the mishpocha.  Meshugeh, I am telling you.  Meshugeh!

© 2014 Jaclyn Schrier. All rights reserved.